Creating Detachment: Let Go Before You Get Going

Have you ever tried to catch a butterfly? Even if you have not, you will surely know what a difficult task it can be, because the butterfly’s nature is to flit this way and that. You will be out of breath chasing this elusive creature. But sometimes, when you are just sitting peacefully at a park bench, enjoying the moment, a butterfly comes and settles lightly on your shoulder. It stays there a while and then flits away.

Have you had the experience of trying to remember a word or a name? The harder you try, the more it eludes you, just like that butterfly. But a few minutes later, when you have stopped trying and have no expectation that you will remember — bingo! It pops right into your head.

This is why in this chapter, we will do something that will seem like the exact opposite of the 100% commitment you made in your agreement with the universe. In this chapter, you will clear your mind of expectations, detach yourself from the Goals you have set for yourself, and simply let go. Detachment is a powerful method for focussing and harnessing your energies.

In his legendary book, Zen and the Art of Archery, the German author Eugen Herrigel describes how he went to Japan hoping to study Zen Buddhism. He was advised to take up a specific skill through which to encounter the religion, and just archery. For years, he just practiced drawing the bow with releasing it. He was asked to mentally detach himself from his goal of hitting the target. The day he finally released the arrow, he had reached such a sublime state of detachment that there was no differentiation in his mind between the archer, the bow and arrow, and the target. They were one system; there was simply no way that the arrow would not hit a bull’s eye when he released, with his eyes closed.

When you detach yourself from your goals, they magically become enormously easier to achieve, less stressful and more attainable.

How do we attain detachment? Meditation and certain spiritual practices gradually cultivate inner detachment. However, in this chapter, we will adopt the ritual known as the Burning Ceremony. Traditionally, this has been done as a way of releasing old resentments, hurt, grudges, regrets, or suffering, and focus on what is more significant to us. In your case, you will perform the ritual as a way of freeing yourself from the stresses and expectations you may now have regarding achieving your Goals.

While doing this ceremony, remain positive and authentic in your feelings, and put yourself in a calm, peaceful frame of mind. Celebrate the end of the burning ceremony with the acknowledgment that you have released your stresses and expectations, and are now ready to move towards your Goals with a clear and unfettered mind.

Burning ceremony

You will need

1. Paper

2. Pen

3. Matches or a lighter

4. A safe, burn-friendly surface (like a metal or glass bowl, fireplace, etc.)

Precautions

1. Clear your head of any anger, resentments, stress or irritation. The ritual’s impact is multiplied when it is performed with an anchored, rooted state of mind.

2. Avoid burning anything highly flammable or which could harm you.

Step 1: Create your burning ceremony space Choose an open, airy space with lots of room, making sure that it is not windy. A backyard or garden is ideal.

Keep a large heat-resistant container of metal or glass.

Step 2: Set a clear Intention Be fully focussed on your intention while performing the ceremony. Note that the intent is not the achievement of your Goals, but to let go of all stresses and expectations you may have around your Goals.

Some intentions that work well —

I am peaceful and unstressed

I have no expectations

I am letting go of all attachments

I find peace when I let go

When your intentions are clear and focused, you are ready for the ritual.

Step 3: Write each Goal on a chit of paper One by one write down each Goal you have committed to on a chit of paper. You should have as many chits as Goals by the end of this.

Step 4: Write and Burn What You Want to Let Go One by one, set each chit of paper on fire, and place it in your fire-resistant container. When it has burned down to ashes, take a few deep breaths, and rub your hands together for a final release of your attachment to that Goal. Now repeat this process for each Goal.

Celebrate!

End the ritual with a celebration. You are standing at very special moment in your life’s journey. You have come through shining through an intensive process of identifying your Vision, Mission and Values and translated them into specific Goals. At the end, you have prepared yourself spiritually, like a martial arts warrior, for success in the journey ahead, but detaching yourself from all your Goals. You have girded your loins, and are ready for action.

This is a great moment to congratulate yourself — and what better way than to give yourself a private celebration? You could celebrate by cutting a cake, buying yourself a special gift or by taking your family to the best restaurant for a dinner. Choose a celebration that makes you feel good. Create within yourself an extraordinary moment of happiness and utter calmness and a sense of total confidence that all your goals will be eventually manifested — because you have detached yourself from success.

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References

Zen and the Art of Archery by Eugen Herrigel